YOU'RE PROBABLY AN ENGINEER...
If you introduce your wife as [email protected]
If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
If you want an 24X CD-ROM drive for Christmas
If Dilbert is your hero
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
If your wristwatch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal
point in the right place
If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
If you've used coathangers and duct tape for something other than hanging
coats and taping ducts
If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find
the burnt-out bulb in the string
If you window shop at Radio Shack
If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi
movie looking for technical inaccuracies
If you have -Dilbert- comics displayed anywhere in your work area
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that
actually takes five minutes to run
If you're convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener
and your camera's flash attachment
If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
If you've modified your can opener to be microprocessor driven
If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
If you own -Official Star Trek- anything
If you've ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on
the radio in your work area for better reception
If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
If you're currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
If you own one or more short-sleeve dress shirts
If you've never backed-up your hard drive
If you're aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but
are afraid to say it out loud
If you truly believe aliens are living among us
If you've ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
If you've ever purchased an electronic appliance -as-is-
If you see a good design and still have to change it
If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
If the thought that a CD could refer to finance and music never enters your mind
If you own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers, but you don't remember where
they are
If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own
turns bread into charcoal
If you have more toys than your kids
If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
If you've introduced your kids by the wrong name
If your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
If your IQ is bigger than your weight
If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to
the front to fix it
If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
If you've memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have
seen most of the shows already
If you've ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a
magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking
that was normal
If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size
screwdriver to use
If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
If you did the sound system for your senior prom
If your checkbook always balances
If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
If you thought the real heroes of -Apollo 13- were the mission controllers
If you think your computer looks better without the cover
If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn't get
enough sleep
If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
If you spend more on your home computer than your car
If you know what http:// stands for
If you've ever tried to repair a $5 radio
If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest
satellite weather picture with yours
If your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain
atmospheric absorption theory
If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4.Chocolate
If you read all of this.